Airline Security: Watch out for terrorists in dangerously short mini-skirts!

With the news last week of a young lady pulled off a plane because of her “provocative” attire, I figured it was time for an airline security take as this points to the basic flaw in our approach to security for air travel. The full story can be found here:

http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/metro/braun/20070905-9999-1m5braun.html

In summary, the 23 year old, Kyla Ebbert was nearly denied access to a southwest airlines flight due to her too short skirt. She was allowed to fly after she wrapped herself in a blanket. Supposedly, the steward who was male told her that she was making one or more of the other patrons “uncomfortable” and that Southwest was a “family airline”… I don’t know what family Southwest is part of but based on the patrons they do let on (flip-flops, tank tops, Clinton style, too-short jogging shorts), I’m guessing they hail from rural Arkansas (hence the Clinton shorts ?. The brass-plated cohones of these guys! This is Southwest, the airline that brought us stewardesses in hot pants and bad jokes during the take off instructions. “Sorry Maam, you can’t fly as a passenger, but would you like a job as a stewardess?” It’s not like she was flying in Business Class to Europe on a real airline like Continental. This is SOUTHWEST, the cattle car airline! All this, because some passenger was uncomfortable?? I got news for you guys, we are ALL uncomfortable, whether it’s from the lack of leg space, proximity to my fellow smelly passengers or lack of any real form of sustenance offered. A pretty girl next to me might make me a little less uncomfortable on the ride (granted, she might now be the one who is “uncomfortable”). The point is if we are going to start asking people to get off cause they make us uncomfortable, I got a long list of people to kick off. So does this mean I can ask them to remove the turbaned dude who smells like curry and gunpower wearing Flips flops with a fuse cause he makes me feel slightly uncomfortable?? How about we do it survivor-style to make it properly democratic. We all vote and top 20 are given the heave ho. And I doubt Klya look-alikes would make the top 20 too often.

Airline personnel have used this security crackdown as excuse to pursue their own agendas and personal dislikes. Don’t like that drunk business man in first class. Throw him off. Don’t like what that little trollop is wearing? Toss her off in the name of national security. Remember when putting up with us for a few hour’s was part of their job description. Now I feel like I’m in catholic high school with Sister Mary staring down at me with her ruler, ready to dispense justice at any crack or implied slight. Just keep your head down, shut up and don’t complain is the new mantra of fliers if you want to get to your destination felony-free.

Not that I feel sorry for the Britney spears look-alike. If you go around dressed like that sooner or later you are going to catch a smack, whether its from your mother or a self righteous airline steward. However, that doesn’t excuse the airlines and stewards from overreacting to the inconsequential and that which has no bearing on our comfort or safely.

I just wish that the airline industry would figure out what we all figured out a long time ago. 99.999% of us aren’t out to crash the plane. We just want to get to our destination without too much hassle. The airlines and security personal are too concerned about following rules and not concerned about using common sense and following their guts. If they would concentrate on making that .0001 percent more “uncomfortable” and the rest of us paying customers more comfortable, they might be a lot more profitable and we’d be a lot safer.

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